Hey guys,
apologies that i hadnt been updating much. =]

holidays are so tiring that i prefer school days seriously
hate been a socialite. damn.
im never gona grow up and be like my dad.
he was my hero [when his nice and in good mood..]
i fucking cant believe he had to combined the trip to KL and BUSINESS.
fuck.

well, im so beyond getting mad at him.
im glad i didnt punch him the last time i saw him.
because i knew i wanted too.
i waited till he threw the stuff at me.
and slammed the door.
then *!#$!%^@#%$!)(!@*

Tada, a fractured hand.
doesnt take a genius to guess what had happened.

my mum is right.
i need a counseller.
ever since i lost my in high school i hadnt been doing really well.
anger management courses sounds great dont it?

im glad i didnt hit him.
reasons?
he's my dad.
he's my dad.
he's my dad......
i cant find a reason much more then THAT.

i gotta get my hand Xray-ed and casted tomorrow..
i cant move my last two fingers...gawd.

BitterSweetCherries

I didn't cry the day you moved away
I didn't think that I could feel this pain
Until I saw the stranger that was you
Whatever happened to our innocence
And the somethin' that i said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud
Could it be
That nothings gonna change
Cause time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had
Can you see
The person that you used to be
The one I lost when I let go of you

I need to wake up from this state of mind
The situation is the same kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head
Would you catch me if I had to fall
Would you even find the time for that at all
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud...

please tell me we hadnt lost everything we once had.


The Piano my source of comfort when in pain.
The drawings and paintings my sorrows and words unsaid..

my frens said to me "christ i'm glad that your all over it, totally gotten past the gloomy period of your life. whatever it is i hope i never comes back. because i missed the smiley happy You."
I Smiled at them.

whats left unsaid was,
im sorry to have to mask myself.
to see me happy is what you guys want me to be...
That i shall be.
i shall be a stranger that seems familiar in a distance.
can you see?
can you see .... me...

tell me how.
help me say the words out loud.

BECAUSE MY WORLD IS TOO FULL OF YOU.
i love you not for what you are,
but who i am when im with you.

but time is taking back.
everything i THOUGHT WE HAD.


im lost...





-christ-