hey guys. im sorry i hadnt been updating much.
>.< been thru a really rough patch.
lets see, im a fucking bad person. seriously i nv felt so before...
well, to be contacting your "bro's" ger and having a relationship that has no frens and lovers bounderes in it is kinda like crap.
well, lets see. she doesnt wana hurt him.
i dun wan to hurt him.
he loves her.
she loves me.
i _____ her.?

well, i too confused to sort out my emotions.
everytime i can just feel it that shes keeping smthing from me.
she says its not that she doesnt want to say. its just that she cant.

the endless confusion. the pain. the sleepless nights. the constant thoughts of her.
I guess i had it real bad.
nope, i have no idea what love is.
never been loved.
no idea how to love.
i dun blame my family for the person i became.
i dun blame my dad for the me.
because i knew, he has been thru much worse then me.

this is what she posted on her blog....
i just heard my heart shattered and a whisper told me yours broke too.theres the conflict thing;somethings very disturbing.and then theres this long pain.another stab;that long pierced pain that i thought wouldnt come back so soon.i thought this was supposed to be happy;i fell sick too soon. and its fast, that.sorry i couldnt hold oni didnt believe now that its admitted and gone,its all screwed isnt it only voiceless screaming.):the head hurts;no im not drunk. that hand held and one hug. you didnt tell me please dont say its the last. the pain of the head and the heart couldnt be differentiated anymore.ow.

i dun wana cause her anymore hurt. but the more i distance.
she got hurt even more.
is this even going anywhere?
the endless hurt and pain. the piercing pain in the heart.
the bruised hands and knuckles.

WTF AM I DOING...
its too much too bear.
im sry i had to mask it all.
i closed my door.
you closed yours.
i just wana walk away.
its painful.
but i will stil try.
the last thing i would ever say is that I LOVE YOU.